Infinite Diversities

Sexuality…..Or not.

“The term romantic friendship refers to a very close but non-sexual relationship between friends, often involving a degree of physical closeness beyond that common in modern Western society, for example holding hands, cuddling, sharing a bed, as well as open expressions of love for one another.” From Wikipedia.

An asexual is someone who does not experience sexual attraction. Unlike celibacy, which people choose, asexuality is an intrinsic part of who they are. Being asexual does not make a person’s life any worse or any better, they just face a different set of challenges than most sexual people. There is considerable diversity among the asexual community, each asexual person experiences things like relationships, attraction, and arousal somewhat differently.

I don’t like being asexual, I want to be normal like everyone else, what can I do?
I’m afraid that there’s no evidence to show that it’s possible to change someone’s sexuality. You can choose to change the way you act upon your desires or lack of desires, but you can’t change what your desires are. It is possible for someone’s sexuality to drift and change in orientation and intensity with time but this doesn’t happen intentionally and doesn’t happen to everyone.

The best solution is to learn to be comfortable with who and what you are. You can’t change your sexuality and you didn’t choose it, but you can accept it.

I just don’t see how asexuals can be close to anyone, how can you have a relationship without sex?
There are myriad ways for asexuals to form close bonds and relationships with others. Some asexuals keep close friendships, some enjoy ‘traditional’ (but not sexual) romantic couplings. Others form completely different, perhaps unique, relationships.

Asexuals can be ‘more than friends’ or even consider their relationships ‘closer than lovers’. Asexuals can be part of traditional couplings, be a non-sexual loving partner of a polyamorous (loving many) person or perhaps part of a group marriage or some other non-conventional relationship.

Asexual relationships are a ‘blank slate’, there are no rules dictating how non-sexual love is expressed. Many asexuals consider their relationships to be outside the experience of our culture, there are no words to describe the bonds they make with other people.

The possibilities for non-sexual intimacy are vast. Some asexuals enjoy physical closeness, perhaps cuddling or stroking, with their partner. Some asexuals express intimacy through talking, maybe sharing their innermost fears and secrets or by making each other laugh. Some asexuals feel intimacy with their partners by sharing common interests and activities or by working together toward common goals. Others experience intimacy in other deeply personal ways or by a combination of some, all or none of the above.

I could never tell people about this, they’d think I was a freak or laugh at me!
In a world where sexuality is promoted as the norm, many asexuals grow up thinking that they’re somehow sick, broken or deficient. It’s natural to internalise these fears and believe that other people will think your asexuality is as big a deal as you always have. In fact it’s really not so terrible.

Most people are pretty accepting of asexuality once they understand it. You may find that coming out often needs to be followed by an explanation of what asexuality is and isn’t, be patient with people. It’s likely that you initially had some trouble accepting your own asexuality and understanding what it meant, it’s not surprising that other people have the same problem when they first hear of its existence.

I got this information from:

Breakout Youth Project

It says everything that I find difficult to come up with and write myself.

Filed by renaeden at April 20th, 2008 under Random/Daily Stuff.