More writings from hospital.
More 15-12-07
Found out that GA won’t be able to message me on his phone. My phone was taken away because it can take photos. I wonder if that is what happened to my friend. I still miss her. As far as I know, she hasn’t messaged me back. :(
Also, I got moved to the floor below. That is because there are more people from my area here. Something to do with help locally once I get out? I didn’t mind but I was in the middle of a sleep. And I had to move all my stuff and the nurses went through the contents of my bag. Not too happy about that.
I feel the need to straighten everything, like the art on the walls in the dining room. I also feel like I would cut again if I had something to do it with. But the thing is, I don’t know why I have the urge. I never have cut before in my life and could never understand why people did it. I almost scorned them for doing it. So why my change. If I had a razor right now. But no more pills.
I didn’t eat dinner and I am glad I did not. It had sausages in it. I don’t think anyone noticed I didn’t have dinner, I was still full from lunch. When I spoke to Mum earlier she mentioned ECT and said she hoped I would not consider it. I said I might, they can do it a different way (unilateral, leave my right temporal lobe alone. Mum sounded like she was going to cry and said she does not want to see me in a psychiatric place long term. Thinking of One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest? Didn’t the main character have a frontal lobotomy. I have never seen that movie.
Later… Had a cup of tea and now hope for Lorazepam because I know that by sleeping this afternoon, sleep will be difficult tonight.
Filed by renaeden at January 6th, 2008 under Related to Mental Health