Infinite Diversities

June 30, 2008

Reading.

I have always enjoyed reading. I didn’t learn to read particularly early, I am guessing I was “on time”. I don’t know when I started reading above my level but I know I was reading books that my stepdad had on the bookshelf when I was 12.

I think I can speed read. Once I told someone this and then later thought maybe I shouldn’t have because I don’t know if my reading would fit into the speed read category. It is also likely that loads of people can read a lot faster than I can. I read “The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night Time” in three hours but that may be just normal speed for most people. I do know that I can read faster than anyone can speak. My mind likes it that way. I am glad of this, if I couldn’t keep up with my mind on this, I don’t know how I would handle it.

I remember in Year 9 at school, our English class received a book called “The Machine Gunners” to read and then eventually write about in class. I took it home and read it that night before bed. The next day in school, our teacher told us to get our books out and read the first chapter. I didn’t because I had already read it. The teacher noticed and asked me why I hadn’t got my book out and I said that I had read it the night before. He told me not to be smart and so I got the book out and started reading it again.

Because I read a lot, I do reasonably well at spelling. It puzzles me when I see professional documents or pages on the internet where people have made spelling mistakes. It doesn’t look professional to me when there are spelling mistakes. I think people should proofread their own work and then get someone else to proofread it as well. Most books have a spelling mistake or two within.

Sometimes I have two or three books on the go at once, that is, I will read a bit of one book, start another book and go back to the other book later that day or the next day. The maximum amount I have read at once is four because I got some good books at the library and couldn’t wait to read them one by one so I had them all being read together. Right now I have read a chapter of one book and I am halfway through another.

I read lots of different kinds of books - crime fiction, medical thrillers, science fiction, fantasy and autobiographies are the main genres I like.

Filed by renaeden at June 30th, 2008 under Uncategorized
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June 29, 2008

Autism Myths.

Here is a list of some common autism myths. I identify with Number 5 the most.

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A diagnosis of autism is not the end of love and hope. But media stories thrive on the most overwhelming and horrifying circumstances. Here are just a few of the myths perpetuated by TV, magazines and movies:

1. Autistic People Are All Alike

Myth: If I’ve met an autistic person (or seen the movie Rain Man), I have a good idea of what all autistic people are like. 

Fact: Autistic people are as different from one another as they could be. The only elements that ALL autistic people seem to have in common are unusual difficulty with social communication.

2. Autistic People Don’t Have Feelings

Myth: Autistic people cannot feel or express love or empathy.

Fact: Many — in fact, most — autistic people are extremely capable of feeling and expressing love, though sometimes in idiosyncratic ways! What’s more, many autistic people are far more empathetic than the average person, though they may express their empathy in unusual ways.

3. Autistic People Don’t Build Relationships

Myth: Autistic people cannot build solid relationships with others.

Fact: While it’s unlikely that an autistic child will be a cheerleader, it is very likely that they will have solid relationships with, at the very least, their closest family members. And many autistic people do build strong friendships through shared passionate interests. There are also plenty of autistic people who marry and have satisfying romantic relationships.

4. Autistic People Are a Danger to Society

Myth: Autistic people are dangerous.

Fact: Recent news reports of an individual with Asperger Syndrome committing violent acts have led to fears about violence and autism. While there are many autistic individuals who exhibit violent behaviors, those behaviors are almost always caused by frustration, physical and/or sensory overload, and similar issues. It’s very rare for an autistic person to act violently out of malice.

5. All Autistic People Are Savants

Myth: Autistic people have amazing “savant” abilities, such as extraordinary math skills or musical skills.

Fact: It is true that a relatively few autistic people are “savants.” These individuals have what are called “splinter skills” which relate only to one or two areas of extraordinary ability. By far the majority of autistic people, though, have ordinary or even less-than-ordinary skill sets.

6. Autistic People Have No Language Skills

Myth: Most autistic people are non-verbal or close to non-verbal.

Fact: Individuals with a classic autism diagnosis are sometimes non-verbal or nearly non-verbal. But the autism spectrum also includes extremely verbal individuals with very high reading skills. Diagnoses at the higher end of the spectrum are increasing much faster than diagnoses at the lower end of the spectrum.

7. Autistic People Can’t Do Much of Anything

Myth: I shouldn’t expect much of an autistic person.

Fact: This is one myth that, in my opinion, truly injures our children. Autistic individuals can achieve great things — but only if they’re supported by people who believe in their potential. Autistic people are often the creative innovators in our midst. They see the world through a different lens — and when their perspective is respected, they can change the world.

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Autism Myths by author Lisa Jo Rudy. She also wrote Top Terrific Traits of Autistic People.

Filed by renaeden at June 29th, 2008 under Autism and me...
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June 13, 2008

It is winter.

Indeed. It has felt mild to me so far, but I have heard a few people say how cold it is. Maybe I am not feeling the cold yet. I have always felt that it is coldest in early September, when there are fine days so it is very cold during the night. When I used to start work at 6am I would wear three layers of clothing plus a jacket on top, shorts under my work pants, with gloves and a beanie to complete the fashionable outfit.

We got our cat Liam sterilised so now he has to stay in for a few days and he doesn’t like it at all. He now has a tattoo in his ear - a circle with a line through it. I am glad he is sterilised now because last week he sprayed inside our pantry as if to say, “everything in here is mine” . It really smelled bad and took me a while to wash it out properly. GA kept saying he couldn’t smell anything.

Last weekend we went with a few people from our Asocial Group to play Q-Zar, which is laser-tag. I had a fun time and I even had the highest score for my team. I think that was because I kept shooting the other team’s base. I would like to do it again but next time I would wear my clear glasses as my Irlen ones are too dark and they reflected light in a strange way. During the games I would run somewhere…straight into a wall. So I was surprised that I did well. I scraped my knuckles on a few walls and hurt my toes. I am just glad that I didn’t bump my nose.

I am now working at the Disability Services Commission a few hours per week. I have been sorting out their mail and battling their photocopier. I have also had to make a few phone calls but I think they went ok. I don’t sound like other people on the phone.

GA and I are still doing the horticulture course. We have planted the seedlings in the vegetable patch and mulched it. There are four regular people in our class. I wish the others would make up their mind as to whether they are staying in the course or not. It shouldn’t bother me, but it just feels odd that I don’t know who turns up from week to week. No consistency, always different. That aside, I am enjoying the course and learning new things such as what elements are important for plants to grow, what different fertilisers contain, etc. I am also taking photos week by week to track the progress of seeds we planted. Some did not grow at all and I am wondering what happened there! It is also planned for us to have an excursion to Burswood (casino and convention centre) to see what goes into the maintenance of their massive grounds. I am really looking forward to that. Excursions are fun.

Filed by renaeden at June 13th, 2008 under Random/Daily Stuff.
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May 31, 2008

Pics.

^ Red ones go faster???

^ I have a badge with this on it.

Filed by renaeden at May 31st, 2008 under Blog Fun
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LEXOPHILES (LOVERS OF WORDS):

Some of these give me a headache!

1. A bicycle can’t stand alone; it is two tired.

29. Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer the agony of de feet.

Filed by renaeden at May 31st, 2008 under Blog Fun
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Family News.

My twin sister has had her baby today. His name is Ceejay and he weighed 6 pounds and 12 ounces. My sister has gone through a lot (IVF many times, complicated pregnancy) so I am really quite awed.

Filed by renaeden at May 31st, 2008 under Random/Daily Stuff.
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May 26, 2008

ECT.

As in Electro-Convulsive Therapy, not the incorrect way some people write et cetera.

In 2005 I dealt with some pretty bad depression. A lot of small things happened that saddened me and my self-esteem disappeared. So I did my whole “go on a long walk to think about it and get all the people that care about me so worried that they call the police” routine. I didn’t think of the impact on people, now I do realise what it did and know that back then I was thinking only of myself.

I ended up being admitted to psychiatric hospital as a result. I stayed there for three months. I had a psychiatrist assigned to me that didn’t believe I was autistic, I was just depressed. Depression was the main part at that time. Many medications were tried on me: antidepressants, anti-psychotics and anti-anxieties were the main ones. Anti-psychotics were awful, they made me shake and twitch a lot and so they were stopped. One antidepressant made my blood pressure rise and I finally found out what a really bad panic attack felt like (worse than I have ever had without crying).

I saw a lot of people come and go at that hospital. I wanted to feel better but didn’t know how and so was content to just sleep all day.

Two months passed and I guess the doctors were ready to try ECT as my depression remained the same. I was told about ECT and asked whether I was willing to try it and I was. I know some patients/people are horrified at the thought of ECT but at that time I was willing to have it because there didn’t seem to be anything to lose. If you are depressed and not wanting to live, the thought of ECT doesn’t even get a thought reaction. Another psychiatrist came to see me to assess whether ECT would be suitable for my sort of depression. Here in Western Australia, two psychiatrists have to agree on using ECT as a treatment for a patient. The second psychiatrist agreed and then I had to sign a form giving my consent to treatment. I was woken up one afternoon to sign it and I should have listened to the doctor reading out the form to me but I didn’t. A form as important as that should be read.

The next week I was taken to another hospital (the hospital I was at wasn’t doing ECT that day, I forget why) in a hospital car with another person named Trevor. He had had ECT before and was fine with it. The other hospital I went to was/is specifically a psychiatric hospital. The section I went to looked quite new, as in built recently. Directly inside was a waiting room, so I think that area was made for ECT patients from other hospitals specifically. Trevor had his ECT first which was annoying to me as I don’t like waiting and there was nothing worth reading in the waiting room. I waited for about half an hour then was called through to a room that looked like a small operating theatre. There were four people in there. I had taken all my jewelery off at the hospital I was from beforehand so I just had to take off my shoes and my glasses right then.

I was directed to lay on a narrow hospital bed with light blue sheets so I did that and then someone rubbed some gel on my temples and then stuck some sort of stickers there and held them on tightly with their hands. That felt odd. Someone else laid a sheet on me and I was grateful for that as I felt cold. An anaethsetist put a needle in my hand and then the anaesthetic went through. I could not keep my eyes open after that. That feeling is very strange.

I woke up in the same place ?time later with those same people standing around me reassuring me that everything went well. I had a headache like I had banged my head all over on something hard and my face felt hot. I was told I could sit up and the needle was taken out of my hand. I felt a bit shaky and woozy but otherwise fine. I sat for a few minutes then I was helped up to walk out to the car to go back to hospital. I don’t think I was very alert on the way back to hospital. When I got back I had something to eat for lunch and had a bit of a sleep and then I felt normal physically for the rest of the day.

What I felt when I woke up the next morning was a whole different story. I felt like I had been beaten up and there were no noticeable signs on the outside. I can’t remember if I had been told about this beforehand or not. But I felt really bad and I could hardly move. I do remember that someone said ECT usually only does this on the first time having it and found out that this was true for me. The muscle pain was due to seizure activity. I was still quite sore when I had the second ECT, this time in the same hospital I stayed at. My psychiatrist was there and so were three nurses that I recall. It was quite strange because the room where the ECT was done was at the other end of the hospital and so the three of us patients (it was always three for this) took a wheelchair each and pushed it there. This was so the nurse that accompanied us on the way there could wheel each of us back to the ward when each ECT was done.

When I woke up from the second ECT, I was asked strange questions like what was my name, did I know where I was and so on. I answered the questions and then one of the nurses told me I had them worried because my seizure went on and on for about five minutes. I felt fine, though, a little bit sore from the first ECT still. The doctor told me later on that they had to use almost twice the amount of succinylcholine than they do on most people in the times afterwards that I had ECT.

Suxamethonium chloride (also known as succinylcholine, scoline, or colloquially as sux) is a medication widely used in emergency medicine and anesthesia to induce muscle relaxation, usually to make endotracheal intubation possible. Suxamethonium is sold under several trade names such as Anectine, and may be referred to as “sux” for short. - From Wikipedia.

I don’t know why this happened. I do know that I started feeling better mentally after four to five ECTs. I started staying up all day and making an effort to get dressed and I also started eating more. I was encouraged in all of these things. I started going to the activities that were on during the day, especially the art program and the morning walk. I didn’t have to coax myself to do those things, I actually felt like doing them which surprised me as previously I had little hope of feeling that way again. In total I had ECT eight times, spread over 3 weeks.

For me, the memory loss associated with ECT was and is pretty bad. The reason I say “is” is because the memories I lost during the time of having ECT, they have not come back. I do not think they ever will. I have tried jogging my memory but that doesn’t work, it is like the memories I try to remember were never there in the first place. I was told that it would be short-term memory that would be affected. Whole days are gone from my memory. In a way, I think that happens to almost everyone anyway. Can you remember what you did on October 7 2002? (you are exempt if this date is your birthday) I thought I would remember Christmas Day 2005, but I have no memory of it at all. There are other events and things that I did that I probably should remember and yet have no recollection. One particular memory that I am sad to have lost is when I met my husband for the first time in Melbourne in earlier 2005. I spent a week with GA and I can barely remember any of it. GA has told me a lot of what happened then, yet I still don’t remember it.

My family definitely don’t/did not support the idea of me having ECT. Hearing “ugh, that’s because you had ECT” after saying I don’t remember a particular event makes me sad.

I have wondered if I would consent to having ECT again. I feel that if I get that level of depression again, I will definitely consider it. Between suicidal depression and ECT, I would choose ECT.

Filed by renaeden at May 26th, 2008 under Related to Mental Health
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End of a busy week (and a half).

On Friday I had an interview at the Disability Services Commission for the once-weekly admin job. I had been waiting for a few months for the interview to happen so I wasn’t really worried about it. Their office is a couple of suburbs north from where I live and I had been there before a few years ago so I thought I would remember where it is. On the way there I realised I didn’t remember it anymore. I did get there just a few minutes late (and was very stressed out in the car when I knew this was going to happen - I don’t like being late for anything) but I don’t think it was noticed.

The interview went well, I really couldn’t ask for better employers because they are all LACs (Local Area Coordinators). There are three of them there, so all three of them interviewed me at the same time. I was shown and told what I would be doing. Some of it involves me ringing various organisations to order some pamphlets. I was asked if I would mind doing that. I said yes but it would be good for me to use the phone - the more I avoid it the worse I get. I will also be sorting out the stationery and supplies room which I think I will enjoy as I like putting things in order. I will start there on Tuesday at 9am and will work for three hours.

After the interview was over, we had a discussion about autism for an hour. I am really starting to feel good about answering questions on this topic even though it is all my point of view. It was suggested that I give talks on autism/me and autism to other people and I said that is what I hope to be doing in the near future.

Wow, what an ego boost.

Have had a few ups and downs with moods but I think it is hormones and also the stress of a really busy week last week and half the week before (confusing).

Looking after parent’s house went well. Only things were the cat losing his collar and the pool going a bit acidic, I didn’t know what to do about that.

GA and I had a psychologist appointment and that went well. I asked about what/how the uni talk/speech would be happening and part of it will involve answering questions while being taped on camera. I don’t like the sound of my voice and so probably will try not to see the finished product! I was really tired because I had to drive there straight from TAFE where we had worked in the rain for part of the day.

Speaking of which, we haven’t had the average amount of rainfall for May yet. It has drizzled and sprinkled a fair bit but rain like that doesn’t register in the rain gauge. Hopefully it will pour on Wednesday because I will be inside at TAFE that day. It can rain a lot on Saturday too because I won’t be doing anything that day either.

Filed by renaeden at May 26th, 2008 under Random/Daily Stuff.
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May 16, 2008

Continuing.

From here:  http://aspergersquare8.blogspot.com/

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The busy week is continuing. I had a doctor’s appointment to get results of my hormone levels test and to get my Depo injection. Not sure if this injection is lowering my testosterone level because this was abnormally low.

I am not in the mood for typing right now, hopefully update in the near future.

Filed by renaeden at May 16th, 2008 under Autism and me...
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May 11, 2008

My Karma

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I gave my mum her present for Mother’s Day - a medical dictionary. She said she likes it so I am happy.

Two of my sisters have had their hair done (dyed/cut) and they both looked nice.

Filed by renaeden at May 11th, 2008 under Random/Daily Stuff.
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